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Fifty one year old, Orangeburg South Carolina resident Mark Zachary was arrested Electric body massagers August 26th of last year after a jaunt to Beetle massager Reid’s grocery store in the same city. Mr. Zachary was holding a New Facial massager York Strip and other meats under his arm and underneath his shirt. When accosted by the store manager, he ran for the door and landed safely into the loving arms of an off-duty police officer. He had taken an eighty dollar hunk of meat!
When it came time for Mr. Zachary to testify in a court hearing, he pleaded that he was “Messaging” the meat and not stealing it. He was given the verdict of “Guilty” by a panel of his peers. This was the mans ninth offense for stealing. As such, he received the maximum sentence allowed by law, which worked out to ten years in prison.
It just goes to show. If you want to massage packages of meat, you have to buy them first!
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